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Reflections of a working writer and reader



I’m Sold on Manuka Honey

OK, it was an impulse buy. When the new supermarket opened the other day I slipped inside to escape the rain and, as they say, browsed the shelves. I was totally untempted. The devil must’ve been on holiday. It was half-term so I suppose he could’ve been on little-devil duty, but, anyway, causing mayhem at some other address.

I’d heard of Manuka honey, of course. When something costs upwards of £7.00 per teaspoon, the news gets around. And there it was on the shelf – Manuka Honey – a little jar, a huge price-tag. I patted my back-pocket to make sure the credit-card was there.

Now, not everyone knows this but Manuka honey is, actually, all made by one bee. He was always a very special bee, of course, even when he was a certified member of a bustling local hive community on the North Island of New Zealand. He decided to go solo, oh, some time ago, and not without raising some controversy.

He said later that there was no choice for him. He was a perfectionist and could no longer watch the antics of his fellow bees, almost all of whom were little more than drones of an evil consumerist society. He now no longer gives interviews.

To cut a long-story short, I handed over all of this weeks and most of next weeks pocket money and took the jar home. I had my £7.00 teaspoon immediately. The house was empty. I was alone.

Within a few moments I was experiencing a religious awakening. I sat down and felt this shot of spiritual morphine, just absolute bliss and joy. I recognized it as a Holy experience immediately.

Initially my feelings were clouded by an inability to see where the all-consuming light was coming from. Was it the light of Almighty Allah, or that of Jesus, the lamb of God?

Not wishing to raise the ire of any fundamentally Islamist nutters, and also being a coward of fundamental proportions, I decided it must be the work of Jesus. Jesus and the Manuka bush and a single perfectionist bee.

This has been one of the few experiences in my life which is completely untainted by any whiff of commercial pressure. Sweet; so sweet.

3 Responses to “I’m Sold on Manuka Honey”

  1. Lee says:

    Have you seen Ottenlenghi’s recipe using Manuka honey? The man is a wonderful chef!

    Now all I have to do is 1) find a source in Germany 2) rob a bank.

  2. john baker says:

    Hi Lee,
    Good to hear that you can substitute it with another good, strong honey. Maybe I’ll try.

  3. Barnoti's Digg account says:

    I value the excerpt, thanks.