• There’s fuck-all you can do about this.

I’m indebted to Pete Latarche for this, his chosen epitaph, though I hasten to add that rumours of the man’s death are greatly exaggerated.
This one, on the gravestone of Bonnie Parker, the bank robber and partner of Clyde Barrow, demonstrates how to use irony:

  • As the flowers are all made sweeter by
    the sunshine and the dew, so this old
    world is made brighter by the lives
    of folks like you.

And one of the London cemeteries sports this little gem:

  • Gone away
    Owin’ more
    Than he could pay.

Are there any other offers out there? What shall we carve on your tombstone?
The winning entry will be rewarded in heaven.

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  1. Bernita

    How about “d. 2106?”

  2. Karen Armstead

    Years ago the local paper ran a “famous last words” or some such feature. I can recall an old newspaper photo featured in the article, of a man on the telephone. The photo had appeared with an article to notify readers of his death. The caption read, “Death calls James Brown.” It was a coincidence the copyeditor didn’t catch, a sweet one.

  3. crimeficreader

    I want to have my ashes scattered near my birthplace, with no stone/epitaph. There, I will fall back into the place from whence I came. I believe there are so many on this earth that it’s not cluttering up the living space with the remains of my life. If I chose something else, mine would be a resting place that property developers would ultimately want to get their hands on.

    As for words to express my life, I’d leave that to the memory of those who remain living. I’d just hope I’d died, knowing that some, still living, loved me and that I had some sort of positive impact on their lives.

    My major thought in life, which I hope rings true, and if there’s anything of real meaning to me in this life, comes from this word:

    “reunited”

    That is what I imagine I can look forward to in death. There has to be some upside, eh?

  4. For The Trees

    Dear God, Bernita, d. 2106??? Just THINK of the agony of arthritis!!! That’s a long, long time to have swollen joints!

    Unless, of course, they figure out how to stop the stuff…

    I think I’ll aim for 105, and just have a good time all the way around. Then I’ll have’em carve my stone with the words, “He laughed.” Nuff said.

  5. Bill Liversidge

    On mine I’m going to put:

    “See you later”

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About Writing:

I turn sentences around. That's my life. I write a sentence and then I turn it around. Then I look at it and I turn it around again. Then I have lunch. Then I come back in and write another sentence. Then I have tea and turn the new sentence around. Then I read the two sentences over and turn them both around. Then I lie down on my sofa and think. Then I get up and throw them out and start from the beginning. Philip Roth

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