A Poem by Billy Collins
Another Reason Why I Don’t Keep A Gun In The House
The neighbors’ dog will not stop barking.
He is barking the same high, rhythmic bark
that he barks every time they leave the house.
They must switch him on on their way out.
The neighbors’ dog will not stop barking.
I close all the windows in the house
and put on a Beethoven symphony full blast
but I can still hear him muffled under the music,
barking, barking, barking,
and now I can see him sitting in the orchestra,
his head raised confidently as if Beethoven
had included a part for barking dog.
When the record finally ends he is still barking,
sitting there in the oboe section barking,
his eyes fixed on the conductor who is
entreating him with his baton
while the other musicians listen in respectful
silence to the famous barking dog solo,
that endless coda that first established
Beethoven as an innovative genius.
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This poet always pleases me, and this poem, despite the title, is easy to overlook for some reason.
He’s also one of the few poets that reads his poems better than anyone else could. Years ago, when he was known mostly as a writing teacher at Westchester Community College, I heard him give a rather impromptu reading at an abandoned train station. His Victoria Secrets poem, which is funny if longish when read inside one’s head, made all eight of us laugh out loud. A practiced speaker–all that teaching, no doubt–he took our hilarity in quiet stride, using it almost like a chorus. Perhaps like a dog barking.
jb says: Victoria’s Secret is long, but funny. I like the way he is self-conscious and conversational, even on the page. Here he is reading Sweet Talk.
this is certainly an extraordinary poem, I did some inquiry on line and I have found more of Billy’s poems, I am quite amazed, thanks for helping me to discover this, and by the way I had the neighbor’s dogs barking last night, as usually. this poem prevented me from doing something I might regret. CZESŁAW MIŁOSZ once said something like this - What is the purpose of poetry if it does not save people or nations?
jb says: Hi Jasko. Thanks for the comment, and it’s good to know you’re enjoying the poems.
From Milosz’ Ars Poetica:
I know Collins is held in high esteem by many, at least I assume he is the way his name gets batted about, but I’ve not read much by him. I’ve not avoided his work but then neither have I sought him out.
I do like this piece; it’s very effective. And a good example of how a thoughtful title can make a piece. It’s the kind of poetry we need. Funny and meaningful at the same time.
jb says: Hi Jim. I don’t know his work very well either. And, yeah, the title’s a real hook.