A Joke

This might be very old. I don’t know.

Begins with an old guy in a chemist’s shop. This is to waylay the listener, because many jokes begin with the same setting and there’s a good chance you’ll have heard it before. This simple fact makes you listen in a different way. You have both positive and negative expectations at the same time. But you’re also trying to be neutral about it, hoping it won’t stray into territory which will make you feel uncomfortable or, worse, angry.

The old guy asks for sixteen tabs of Viagra. OK, I know, another signifier.

But before the chemist goes to fill the prescription the old guy asks him if he can cut the tabs into quarters.

‘I can do that, yes,’ the chemist replies. ‘But you’re not going to get much of an erection with a quarter of a tab.’

‘I don’t want much of an erection,’ the guy says. ‘I’m ninety-six years old. I just wanna avoid peeing on my slippers.’

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  1. Kathleen Maher

    That’s a new one to me, John. Funny? Of course it is, and all the more so for its sorry aspect. My first response was: “Oh dear!”

  2. Dick

    Well, I hope I’m that ingenious at 96.

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A writer like me must have an utter confidence, an utter faith in his star. It's an almost mystical feeling, a feeling of nothing-can- happen-to-me, nothing-can-harm-me, nothing-can-touch-me. Thomas Wolfe has it. Ernest Hemingway has it. I once had it. But through a series of blows, many of them my own fault, something happened to that sense of immunity and I lost my grip. F. Scott Fitzgerald

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